COVID ruined my plans but it won’t ruin my dreams (good one, Sig! *smiles in sarcasm*)

It’s been 7 months since COVID and quarantine took the world by storm and as a result, nothing’s been the same. Everything has changed, from the catastrophic storms causing an upheaval of deconstruction and chaos to social activism galvanizing folks near and far to join the causes of equality, equity and humanity to untimely deaths of some of the world’s most beloved celebrities and renowned dignitaries. 

The tornado that 2020 continues to present itself as, has me gasping for air and some degree of positivity/normalcy. Consequentially, I found myself needing time to foster and nurture the relationship between myself and I. When news broke of George Floyd’s murder and the repulsive killing of Breonna Taylor, among many other innocent, vulnerable people- I was certain I had reached my breaking point, hence the intermission in consistent blog posting. 

There in my cloudy mood, I contemplated the destabilization of our democracy, the erosion of our justice system and credible institutions and suddenly found myself in the crosshairs between wanting sanity/normalcy and actively wanting to stay alert and candidly contest the brutalities against innocent, helpless people, while yearning for the familiar hope that democracy once gave me. The dichotomy was not a fair one- but I chose to participate in both alternatives. 

On the one hand, I desperately needed time to self compose and restructure my mental clarity; while on the other, I was certain I could not keep quiet any longer- the inner Jane Fonda inside me was yearning to be set free. How could I help? 

As others took to the streets to march with fellow activists and justice seekers, I signed petitions and donated and donated to bail funds, the ACLU and other organizations accelerating the efforts toward positive legal action for the most unfortunate and destitute of us all. 

Through all of this activism and litany of news headlines, I managed to also maintain my composure and health by staying close to loved ones (via Zoom, FaceTime and WhatsApp), meditating and reading my BIBLE. A few tears shed here and there but after a while, I understood that it was needed to fully come to grips with the fact that life isn’t easy for everyone and while many of us make choices each day, only a few have options presented to them in their decision making process. 

What did Sig do? Well- I challenged myself. Let me explain: 

I wielded my energy to make sure I didn’t ‘get lost in the sauce, lol’. It’s so easy to become overwhelmed by that state of your affairs, but it’s even harder to seek freedom and fresh air when everything around you (national and international) suggests disarray, confusion and hopelessness. Pressure as it may be- I desperately wanted to stay close to my dreams, my endeavors, to the reason I was placed here in the first place. 

COVID did in fact change my plans- completely. A family wedding, vacationing in foreign countries and weekend trips, and even in-person volunteering simplified to Zoom engagements and grocery store runs. Needless to say, the plans left the building, lol. 

And while this sudden change in my pattern could have welcomed unfriendly feelings of isolation and loneliness- quarantine in fact reminded me how important it is to take time to myself and work on what I wanted to do. 

Here I am now- on the 9th of September remembering all of this and employing these truths and self-discovered thoughts to be my guiding light through the rest of 2020, because folks the year is not over. #jeeperscreepers

Word of advice? It helps to write down your thoughts of experiences and conquered emotions one day at a time; with time you’ll look back and be astonished at your growth and self-discovery. 

I hope this update proved to be helpful for those who might be struggling with 2020 (consensus results are in and they’re showing 2020 to be the most difficult year to date for the Gen-Zers and just about everyone). In no way, has this been an easy year and truthfully, I’ve found it helpful to leave behind expectations for fear of disappointment. There will always lie ahead challenges and bumps in the road and that’s exactly how I’ve interpreted 2020 to be- an example of a disruptive journey, with something promising at the end (easy to say, but by the end of 2020, the most promising thing to come from this year would be the start of a new one, lol).

It’s not over so please don’t give up!!! Whatever you may be going through (whether it’s unemployment, hopelessness, fear, sadness, isolation or depression, etc.), let hope magnify your purpose and destiny and avoid making the discomfort and unfamiliarity of 2020 drive you into a corner. #ofcourseitseasiersaidthandone. 

Timewithsig is BACK!

With much love and positive VIBES, 

SH

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